Change

For some reason the last four months or so I have been feeling really out sync. I just didn't really feel like myself and I think I've finally figured out why. My life really has gotten busy and my priorities have changed. I feel like this has happened a couple other times in my life before this. The first time was right after getting married it took me quite a little while to change from being single Valerie to wife Valerie. The second time was after becoming a mom; I had to figure out how to change from student, wife, and productive Valerie to stay at home, mommy Valerie. After both of these life changes I feel like I have come over to the other side a better person and I am very happy with who I have become. So after finally (hopefully) figuring it out I am pleased to present; wife, friend, mother of two, busy Valerie. Like I said for the past little while I have not quite felt like myself; I have felt very antisocial, tired, and like I've been running a never ending race that I keep on losing. Then today as I was thinking about things, I think I've figured it out. Claire started preschool this year and also ditched her afternoon nap. My schedule consists of waking up making a filling breakfast (cereal just doesn't seem to cut it for my kids it seems like their hungry two seconds later), dishes, getting kids dressed, taking a shower and actually getting ready (makeup and all), taking Claire to preschool or some other mid morning activity, getting lunch for Isaac, pick Claire up from preschool, put Isaac down for a nap, make lunch for Claire and myself, occupy Claire while Isaac sleeps, Isaac wakes up, go to the park or play at home, try to put together a nutritious dinner, eat with the kids, clean up dished and the house, pick David up from the train, warm dinner back up for David, get Isaac and Claire ready for bed, read stories, go to the gym, relax, and finally go to sleep. This list doesn't even include all of the spills I clean up, grocery shopping and diapers. No wonder I am feeling kind of out of sync I thought I was a stay at home mom with toddlers with lots of time on my hands. After some thinking it through I have officially decided that I am a busy mom. Maybe I don't have a side job and one of the biggest things that stresses my out is what to make for dinner. But now that I have realized why I never hang out with anyone any more (antisocial) is because I am so busy its hard to fit in spontaneous play dates and random hanging out time when I am so busy and no wonder I'm so tired I do a lot in a day. So, the next question is what am I going to do about this new role in my life called "busy"; and the answer is plan ahead. If I want to hang out with someone I'm going to try to schedule it at least a couple days ahead of time, hopefully that will help the antisocial part; next I am going to try to get to bed on time because a busy person needs sleep especially with kids that wake her up before the crack of dawn, and lastly "knowing is half the battle" now that I have finally come to the realization that I am busy I will try to be a little less hard on myself. I am sure that this post probably made no sense to anyone else, but I now feel like a whole new better me. Let me introduce myself, I am Valerie; busy, mother of two, and yes I know that its just going to get worse, but I can handle.